• Hello Guest, You'll need to login or signup to be able to post on here.

a little support please

Snuglies

Snuglies

Active Member
5
Oct 30, 2013
35
60
Hi guys, I know I don't post on here very often and my partner, Trev, is a more active member, but I feel I have to say something in his defence. It takes a lot for him to come to any game, let alone an away game as he suffers from panic attacks in unknown areas and he has severe depression, bi polar and border line personality disorder since the age of 7. He came to the first away game tonight at Barnton as he was giving a lift to another supporter and felt a bit braver as he had our two eldest children with him. Now, I have to explain a bit about our two eldest children in the fact that they both have autism. James has Aspergers and Charlotte has Pathalogical demand avoidance. this can make their behaviour seem unruly and is in no way our fault that we cannot keep them under control. They had their own anxieties as the stand was a lot smaller than they expected so was very crowded with the rain. I apologise if Charlotte or James has upset anyone and some of the comments made by our own supporters to Trev about his inability to control Charlotte and James has made him think very seriously about any future support. Trev is absolutely crushed he has upset some of our supporters but felt it was a family orientated team and thought there may have been some understanding. I know Trev does not come to a lot of social events and to the away games but he does try and help out with doing the midweek recaps so he can feel more useful.. As I said I can only apologise if any of our supporters felt that by having Charlotte and James there had ruined their night out. Unfortunately for my children they will now miss out on any future games for fear of upsetting someone.
 
How very sad and upsetting for yourself, Trev and your two eldest children. Unfortunately autism in all its various forms is still (goodness knows why) a much misunderstood condition. If bad experiences from tonight have caused Trev to rethink how he spends his footballing time then we as a club need to look at how we can better support the match-day experience for the three of them. As a community club we should be looking to support and enhance the experience for every fan or potential fan who has additional support needs whether they be physical or otherwise. Something as a whole 1874 community we need to discuss and then makes plans for.
 
Trev told me all about this in the car on the way back from tonight's game hope he isn't to disheartened by one individual hope to see him at the game tomorrow!
 
Trev,
You know who I am. Come and talk to me and I am sure that together we can make sure that the experience at games is enjoyable for you and your family.
Sorry to hear that you have had a problem.
Steve
 
Hi Snuglies, I sincerely hope that Trevor and the kids haven't been put off and I hope we get to the bottom of this issue to prevent it from happening in the future.
I know that we didn't get off to a great start when you both first started supporting 1874, it wasn't until I met you, Trevor and the kids that I realised I'd made a grave mistake by giving you grief on the forum.
You're a fantastic family and Trevor is an honest hardworking fan, he should be respected for what he has had to deal with and continues to deal with.
Keep your chin up mate, we are a family Community club and fans should remember that our children are our future.
 
I am trying to coax him into coming tonight. James is one of our ball boys, albeit he is a bit slow and our youngest Temperance is a ball girl but she is too poorly to come as was in hospital on Saturday night. I know Charlotte does not show she is doing much whilst there as looks at her phone but this is her coping mechanism in crowds. Trev loves the club and feels he should be doing more for it. I know he can be short tempered at times but this is down to his anxieties and stress. Charlotte has to sit in a particular place at our home games to feel 'safe'. In hindsight we should have said something about the children before bringing them to any games. They all love the race nights and they all love coming to the games. in fact it was another supporter that asked and with Charlotte begging Trev to go last night he felt he would try it as it was pretty close. trev tried to explain to the supporter last night about Charlotte and James to try and placate and diffuse the situation but they weren't having any of it. This is why he felt so bad coming away from last nights game. The children, when they came in, were made up about getting to the final and are already hoping to go to that. I know it seems like I am explaining stuff and that trev should have put it on here instead, but he is not the most diplomatic of people and I am his carer, so I said I would do it and explain it better. most of you that know Trev knows he loves the club, Who else would go out and have the clubs emblem tattooed on their arm if they didn't LOL:happy:happy
 
Snuglies,
I have private messaged you.
Hope to see Trevor and family soon.
Steve.
 
Really brave message, hope the club can bend over backwards to help this family feel happy and welcomed each match.
 
Hi Snuglies I feel your and tev Pain when can hear ppl with the nasty comments I have partner with Ms and 2year with autism I know how much I can get you down my partner dose not leaving the house cos she walks like she been drinking all day and I hope when I start to bring my son to games and I don't hear comments like tev did last night I hope the club can stamp it out asp if club feels in need more stewards at home games I'm more then willing to volunteer I hope ppl that said thing last night are ashamed of themselves
 
As someone that has autism myself, it is very disappointing that you got those comments from our fans towards your kids and as a result they may not be coming to more games, which is a shame because as Tony alluded to, kids are the future.

I hope those comments don't stop you and Trev from bringing James and Charlotte to the games because it would seem very unfair on them if they couldn't come to games because one or two people didn't like their behaviour and in turn made comments that upset you and Trev. Let's not forget there's plenty of people at this club that can and will help you if you need it. I think the replies above in this thread show that.
 
I'll personally pay for your entrance fee and get them some chips if they want to come down again.

Sometimes people aren't aware of the reasons why others act the way they do, but I'm sure that if they were aware of the impact that something like this has on people they too would feel just as bad as we all do hearing it.

There is a place for everyone at this club, and I, as well as many others would be happy to show you that.
 
Thank you so much for everything you have said. Trev is going to come tonight and is giving another supporter a lift as well as picking up the card for the highlights SD card. He is a bit apprehensive though so may be very quiet. The children aren't going to come tonight though as Charlotte gone down with a sickness bug and James can't have to much disruption to his routine. He likes to be in bed at 9 and he had a later night last night so wants to be in bed on time tonight. We will all be coming to the final next week though as it's something we wouldn't want to miss anyway. Trev is overwhelmed with the supportive words from you all and will no doubt speak to some tonight. Thank you so much it means a lot to us and especially to me as it's important Trev has his own interests to keep him going. :embarrased:)
 
Sorry I wont be there tonight, my head is not up to it so staying in the safety of the house. Hope everyone have a great night and we get a good win, as far as I know I will be doing the highlights tomorrow so will still see the game, Thanks for everyone's kind words and offers and hope to see you all soon.
 
Incidentally when do we select our new club charity, or has it already been decided?*

* apologies for taking the thread off topic Lorna.
 
Hopefully the game will be on today and Trev and our two youngest will definitely be there today. James and Temperance enjoy being ball boys and girls. I am working in Runcorn until 3 so cannot make it. But we will be there on Monday night. On a funnier note trying to explain about winning a piece of 'silverware' to James has had some lengthy and in depth conversations leading to some cup games where you don't actually win a cup and sometimes the silver ware isn't actually silver but gold. He did have one question though where will it be displayed when we win something?
We really do appreciate the support you have all given us and I know a lot of you didn't realise the struggles we have. its become second nature to us now that we have to explain things as with Charlotte's autism it isn't always evident but as they both get older they are finding it increasing difficult to behave in a manner that is expected of them. They have good days and they have bad days. PDA is at one end of the spectrum and Aspergers is right at the other and are extremely conflicting.
Tez don't worry as when reading things you suddenly have ideas pop up and need to ask there and then. If that make sense.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top